I baked my feelings about 2017 into some cookies!

Actually, I hope that’s not true, because if I turn out to have some witchy culinary skills a la Simply Irresistible then I’ve just doomed anyone who eats these to a perpetually grumpy and depressed state of mind. 

But hopefully all the sugar will lift our moods?

These cookies are metaphorical stand ins for the garbage heap that was 2017, because we are tossing leftover optimism, aka ingredients, into the trash fire, aka oven.

(Did I go too dark there?)

But! Cookie garbage is way more delicious than actual garbage, I promise you, and smells so much better! And, baking has been shown to improve your mood, so I suggest this as a healthy mental diversion, and an economical one at that. Plus, there is something kind of wonderful about baking and eating your 2017 ingredient detritus, like a spiritual cleansing of the kitchen for the new year.

I pulled a Marie Kondo on my pantry and freezer for these cookies, tossing in some leftover homemade rainbow chips, dark chocolate, halva, and some pretzels and potato chips for salty crunch. It was only after I baked them that I remembered the leftover chocolate granola in the freezer that I’ve been hoarding for that time I decide to make compost cookies again, which was, you know, now. But, then I recalled that granola is leftover from the sunny, ignorant bliss of 2015, so at this point probably I should admit that it is destined for the real trash.

Hopefully you do a more thorough sweep of your stash!

As for the baking, if you chill your dough and pans, bake on a middle rack and check your cookies at 15 minutes, then they will come out exactly how you want them to, not slightly burned and blackened or flat and shapeless or other bad things. They will however, come out ginormous no matter what, so if you want smaller cookies, scoop them into smaller dough portions before baking.

Enjoy all the Holidays and see you in 2018! 

(God, I hope it is really better and not just, you know, January.)

Garbage Cookies

Adapted from Momofuku Milk Bar

• 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1 Tbsp corn syrup 
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 egg
• 1 1/3 cups all purpose flour
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp Kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups your favorite sweet ingredients (I used white chocolate, halva, dark chocolate)
• 1 1/2 cups your favorite salty ingredients (chips, pretzels, etc.)

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, add butter, sugars, and corn syrup and cream together for 2-3 minutes on medium-high. Scrape down the sides as needed, add in the egg and vanilla, and beat 8-10 minutes more, scraping down sides as needed.
2. While mixing, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add in the flour mixture. Mix until the dough just comes together, up to 1 minute. 
3. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and add in the mix ins until just combined, about 30 seconds to 1 minute.
4. Scoop dough by 1/3 cups or large ice cream scoops onto parchment lined baking sheet. Flatten a bit with your hands then wrap tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour, up to 1 week. 
5. Heat oven to 375 degrees, arrange chilled dough scoops at least 4 inches apart on parchment lined, chilled baking sheets (I fit 3 cookies on full sized baking sheets). Bake for 15-18 minutes in the center rack, until puffed, crackly and spread out and just starting to brown on the edges.
6. Cool cookies completely on sheet pan and then serve or transfer to an airtight container for storage, up to 5 days or the freezer for 1 month..