Oktoberfest Hearts

My 8-year old self is reading this post in horror.

She cannot believe I would spend any time making, decorating, or writing about these terrible cookies.

She doesn't know yet that she grew up and realized that maybe childhood taste buds aren't the best arbiter of judgement.

(Except when in comes to marzipan. Those beautiful little candy animals in the local bakery she begged to try actually were terrible. No mistakes made there, because pure concentrated almond flavor is gross.)

When I was living in Germany and going on touristy elementary school field trips, I would always inevitably see these beautifully decorated, gigantic cookie hearts hanging by their ribbons from some kiosk or another, usually near the front entrance of whatever zoo or Christmas Market we were visiting that day. Their brightly colored icings showed whimsical pictures and spelled out German phrases I couldn't read, but contrasted beautifully with the deep color of the cookie underneath. I was definitely interested.

On one trip to the Frankfurt Zoo, I finally decided I was going to buy one of these beautiful cookies. The lady selling them told me they were gingerbread, so I, remembering the delicious gingerbread men I had baked from a roll of Pillsbury dough, eagerly handed over my Marks. I waited until I was back on the bus to try my cookie. Trying to preserve the colorful design, I broke off a small bit from the bottom and took a bite. 

You know when you bite into something and you immediately know you hate it but you're too embarrassed to spit it out? That was me, sitting on a school bus and desperately trying to chew through this rock hard cookie and swallow it without experiencing more of the flavor than I could help. It didn't taste like those gingerbread men at all! It had spices in it and a sharp flavor, and I hated it. I felt like I had been duped. I wrapped up the rest of the cookie and brought it home, where I think I stared at the pretty designs for a few days and then tossed it in the trash.  

20 years later, and I've since come to appreciate the flavors of real gingerbread, with its warm spices and strong flavor. A few months ago, I found myself thinking about those cookies again, and wondering if maybe it was time to try again. I did a little research and it turns out they are not just made to hang on carts at zoos and lure unsuspecting children. These gingerbread hearts, or Lebkuchen, are actually a festive part of the annual Oktoberfest celebrations, which start this weekend! So I made some!

I found some recipes online and learned that they do traditionally contain some anise seed in the spice mix, so that's probably what I hated the taste of as a child, because licorice is also gross! So I left it out of my cookies, obviously. Also, some recipes I found claimed these cookies aren't meant to be eaten, even though the dough is edible, so I went with one that seemed like the intent was to eat, since I wasn't about to spend 4 hours icing cookies that were destined for the trash (it is true though, that to get cookies sturdy enough to hang by ribbons, you do need a dough that bakes up a bit drier than you otherwise might want).

These take some time and effort, but they were an extremely fun way to spend a weekend afternoon. I learned that my piping skills are not awful, and also that making 10 giant, 5-inch gingerbread cookies is not a great idea unless you have a plan for them, but they sure are beautifully decorating my freezer at the moment! If you want a fun, non-bear, non-bratwurst way to celebrate Oktoberfest this year, I highly recommend.

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Oktoberfest Hearts

Adapted from BellaOnline

• 3/4 cup molasses
• 1/3 cup honey
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon lemon zest
• 1/2 teaspoon orange zest
• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1 tablespoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
• 2 large eggs
• 2-3 cups flour (I needed all of it)
• 1 cup rye flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg white, for brushing dough

1. In a small saucepan, bring molasses and honey to a boil, then remove from heat and let cool 10 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, in the bowl of a mixer, rub sugar and zests together for a minute to release the oils, then cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
3. Add spices and beat until fully incorporated, then add the molasses mixture and beat until combined. Then beat in the eggs one at a time.
4. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flours, baking soda and salt and then add to the liquid mixture. Add more flour if necessary, to end up with a dough that is soft, but not sticky. Turn dough out onto plastic wrap and seal into a round. Refrigerate overnight.
5. When ready to make cookies, heat oven to 350 degrees. Roll the dough out, in two batches, 1/3 inch thick. Cut into heart shapes with a 5-inch cutter (or any size you like) and place a couple inches apart on parchment lined baking sheets. If planning to string hearts with ribbon, use a straw to make two holes at tops of hearts.
6. Brush dough with lightly beaten egg white and bake, 12-15 minutes, until puffed slightly but not too browned at the edges. If you poked holes in your cookies you may need to rewiden the holes since they will have closed a bit during baking. It's best to do this while they are warm. Let cool completely before frosting.

Royal Icing:

• 2 egg whites
• juice of 1/2 lemon
• 2-3 cups powdered sugar

1. Combine ingredients in the bowl of a mixer and beat until stiff, about 5 minutes. Add more sugar for stiffer frosting, but make sure it is soft enough to pipe.
2. Dye icing desired colors and decorate cookies as desired. Let icing harden overnight and then cookies are ready to eat! String up with ribbons into necklaces for the full, traditional effect.

Some traditional phrases:

Ich liebe dich: I love you

Ozapft is!: It's tapped!

Ich bin single: I am single (obviously had to go with this one!)

Not so traditional phrases:

The name of your blog!

"Spa" Salmon Sandwich

When I was in college I spent a summer working at a cafe in a spa in Sonoma, where three of us would cram ourselves into a tiny prep space and assemble meals for the guests. Since we were operating in a spa, these meals were obviously implied to be healthy but were for the most part probably far from it, what with all of the mayo, aioli, and caesar dressing I remember going through, and most menu items came with bacon. I’m pretty sure I gained a few pounds from my daily habit of drinking the “leftover” vanilla milkshakes we whipped up for one spa service that I forget the name of but was the rough equivalent to “treat yo self.” 

In a nod to our healthy environment we did serve up various wheat grass drinks (and then waited for the inevitable summons to hear a guest complain about the “vile” concoctions we had served them) and at least one dish with the mandatory hummus and alfalfa sprouts. We also offered cappuccinos and lattes, though we didn’t shout about it, as the espresso machine was a mystery to all of us. I do sometimes wonder how we didn’t get more complaints about the coffee, because if I’m making your espresso-based beverage you will get the same thing no matter what you ordered- a badly drawn shot drowning in a random quantity of scalded milk and weak foam. Enjoy!

The guests were really there anyway to hang out at the pool in between spa services and be away from screaming children, not to eat diet food, and no one seemed to mind the overly-indulgent menu, especially one item, a salmon sandwich that was popular enough with the guests that we regularly had to run back to the main kitchen on busy days to beg for more salmon. That sandwich still sticks in my brain today, ten years later, with its bacon, mayo, and greens, all served on a brioche bun with probably something else although I honestly forget, because it was the salmon and bacon combo that really stuck with me. That glorious sandwich was served with chips and a side salad, and again, not really sure how it counted as “spa” food but I didn’t care. The couple of times I got to hang out in that spa area as a guest I made sure to order it, reveling in the succulent salmon garnished with crisp, salty bacon.

I decided to recreate the sandwich in my own tiny kitchen, although this proved to be a bit difficult since like I mentioned before, I didn’t really remember too many specifics of what was on it. So I improvised. The most important elements obviously were the salmon and bacon, so I had those, and I added on some peppery watercress for a green element and an herby, caper mayo as a finishing touch. I don’t know how close I came to the original but my version rocks! It’s crispy, salty, and refreshing all at once, all tied together by the creamy, herby mayo and best eaten in a fluffy white terrycloth robe right after a massage. Or, you know, at any other time in your pjs on the sofa. Whatever works for you.

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"Spa" Salmon Sandwich

Makes 2 sandwiches

• 1/4 cup mayonnaise
• zest and juice of 1/2 lemon
• 2 tsp capers, drained
• 1 tbs chopped fresh dill
• 1 tsp minced chives
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 2 strips bacon
• 2 salmon filets or 1 large filet cut in half
• 1 cup watercress
• brioche buns or other

1. Make the mayo: combine mayonnaise, lemon zest and juice, dill, chives, and salt and pepper in a small bowl and whisk to combine. Stir in the capers and set aside.
2. In a heavy bottomed skillet over medium high heat, cook the bacon until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and set on a paper towel lined plate to drain. Pour off most of the remaining bacon fat in the pan into a small bowl and set aside.
3. Set pan back over heat, and toast the buns in the remaining bacon fat in pan. Set buns aside.
4. Add reserved bacon fat back to the pan and cook the salmon, about 5 minutes per side, skin side down first. Finish salmon with a squeeze of lemon juice.
5. Assemble sandwiches: spread top and bottom buns with the herb caper mayo, then layer salmon, bacon, and watercress. Serve.

Summer Veggie Tempura

So first let me preface this post by admitting that I am writing it at 10:35 pm after running 3.2 miles and having beer for dinner, because I'm trying to be physically fit but also be social with my new-ish coworkers, so mission accomplished? That is anyway how I wound up running a 5k that I swore off forever last year, and as for the lack of real dinner, well, it's now 10:40 and I reheated some cornbread. And I think I might wait to shower tomorrow, sorry. And I felt really good after the 5k! And also please excuse my rambling and/or typos (I don't see any yet but no promises, I still have to write a recipe). 

ANYWAY. I have no idea if you, you this person reading this, come here for life updates or recipes, but I can stop telling you about my bad decisions and tell you a story about how I was looking for a way to use up some rice flour, because last Christmas I went to my mom's house in PA and bought some rice flour for a dessert that failed spectacularly (even though I executed it splendidly at Thanksgiving), with the end result that my mother was left with half a bag of rice flour and no idea of what to do with it. 

So, knowing that she likes things in the kitchen to be as easy and simple and foolproof as possible, I decided to test out a rice flour tempura recipe with some summer veggies. 

Yeah. Sorry Mom. I'll come up with something easier.

Because I learned that, even though I'm comfortable with deep frying, tempura is a tricky beast. The first pass was edible, but not great. I figured out the the recipe I was using had the proportion of rice flour to water way off, so that the mixture was more some murky liquid sitting on top of a silty bottom of rice flour, instead of an actual batter. I got it to work, but only by double dredging and dipping and it still wasn’t great and I certainly wouldn't tell anyone to try to recreate what I made.

But I did learn a few important things in the process, such as shishito peppers sometimes explode when you deep fry them and really, a good splatter screen is a kitchen essential if you ever plan to deep fry. Also beer in tempura batter doesn't taste like anything, so don't bother.

Moving on to round 2.

It was a lot better! I did more thorough research and found a water to flour ratio that seemed promising, so I got to work and made another batch of tempura to feed a crowd*. It was well-battered and delicious and you should try it with the last batches of your summer CSA if you aren't afraid of deep frying.

*I ate it myself, over way longer than I'd recommend keeping it, because single girl problems, but you know, the oven really does recrisp even tempura fairly ok, and I certainly had enough sauce left to justify eating it, so I did. Make yours for a crowd and don't do this.

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Summer Veggie Tempura

Adapted from  Epicurious. Dipping sauce adapted from Mark Bittman. Makes enough for a crowd.

• 1 cup rice flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• 3/4 cup - 1 cup cold water
• 1 egg yolk, slightly beaten
• 1 qt oil, for frying
• 4 cups ( more, honestly) of veggies, I used summer squash, carrots, bell peppers, green beans, and shishito peppers (see note)

For the dipping sauce:

• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 2 tbs rice vinegar
• 2 tbs dark sesame oil
• 2 tbs toasted sesame seeds
• 1 tbs sugar
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tsp ground ginger

Stir together flour and egg yolk, then addd water and stir until mixed, but not too mixed. Right.

1. Heat 1/2 inch of oil in a heavy bottomed pot or skillet to 375 degrees.
2. While oil is heating, stir together dipping sauce ingredients, then set aside.
3. Dip veggies and fry, 2-3 minutes, until golden and crisp, turning once. Drain on paper towels. Serve with dipping sauce.

Notes:

• For veggies, cut peppers into large chunks, and carrots and squash into thick slices. Carrots can be blanched before dipping in batter but I didn't really mind the crispier version that comes from skipping this. Green beans just need ends snapped off, and shishito peppers need no prep except steely nerve- they might explode so keep your distance while frying or use a splatter screen.
• You want the batter thin, but still thick enough to coat the veggies. I found it was not quite a 1:1 ratio of flour to water.