"2017 was Garbage" Cookies

I baked my feelings about 2017 into some cookies!

Actually, I hope that’s not true, because if I turn out to have some witchy culinary skills a la Simply Irresistible then I’ve just doomed anyone who eats these to a perpetually grumpy and depressed state of mind. 

But hopefully all the sugar will lift our moods?

These cookies are metaphorical stand ins for the garbage heap that was 2017, because we are tossing leftover optimism, aka ingredients, into the trash fire, aka oven.

(Did I go too dark there?)

But! Cookie garbage is way more delicious than actual garbage, I promise you, and smells so much better! And, baking has been shown to improve your mood, so I suggest this as a healthy mental diversion, and an economical one at that. Plus, there is something kind of wonderful about baking and eating your 2017 ingredient detritus, like a spiritual cleansing of the kitchen for the new year.

I pulled a Marie Kondo on my pantry and freezer for these cookies, tossing in some leftover homemade rainbow chips, dark chocolate, halva, and some pretzels and potato chips for salty crunch. It was only after I baked them that I remembered the leftover chocolate granola in the freezer that I’ve been hoarding for that time I decide to make compost cookies again, which was, you know, now. But, then I recalled that granola is leftover from the sunny, ignorant bliss of 2015, so at this point probably I should admit that it is destined for the real trash.

Hopefully you do a more thorough sweep of your stash!

As for the baking, if you chill your dough and pans, bake on a middle rack and check your cookies at 15 minutes, then they will come out exactly how you want them to, not slightly burned and blackened or flat and shapeless or other bad things. They will however, come out ginormous no matter what, so if you want smaller cookies, scoop them into smaller dough portions before baking.

Enjoy all the Holidays and see you in 2018! 

(God, I hope it is really better and not just, you know, January.)

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Garbage Cookies

Adapted from Momofuku Milk Bar

• 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1 Tbsp corn syrup 
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 egg
• 1 1/3 cups all purpose flour
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp Kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups your favorite sweet ingredients (I used white chocolate, halva, dark chocolate)
• 1 1/2 cups your favorite salty ingredients (chips, pretzels, etc.)

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, add butter, sugars, and corn syrup and cream together for 2-3 minutes on medium-high. Scrape down the sides as needed, add in the egg and vanilla, and beat 8-10 minutes more, scraping down sides as needed.
2. While mixing, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add in the flour mixture. Mix until the dough just comes together, up to 1 minute. 
3. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and add in the mix ins until just combined, about 30 seconds to 1 minute.
4. Scoop dough by 1/3 cups or large ice cream scoops onto parchment lined baking sheet. Flatten a bit with your hands then wrap tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour, up to 1 week. 
5. Heat oven to 375 degrees, arrange chilled dough scoops at least 4 inches apart on parchment lined, chilled baking sheets (I fit 3 cookies on full sized baking sheets). Bake for 15-18 minutes in the center rack, until puffed, crackly and spread out and just starting to brown on the edges.
6. Cool cookies completely on sheet pan and then serve or transfer to an airtight container for storage, up to 5 days or the freezer for 1 month..

Smoky Hot Chocolate

When I was in New Zealand in July, my mom and I got stranded in Queenstown for an extra morning. I think we were both secretly glad about this because, aside from the hassle of waiting on the airline to find us a hotel room in a ski town during the first snowstorm of the season, I don't think either one of us was ready to leave. It was stunningly beautiful in the mountains, and plentiful access to New Zealand pinots was keeping us warm enough. 

The only thing though, is if you aren't skiing or bungee jumping, you can pretty quickly run out of things to do in Queenstown in the mornings once you've done the luge, the jet boat and Fergburger. So we hopped the bus up the mountain roads to nearby Arrowtown, a little strip of touristy shops built around the remains of an old gold rush town. The little street was cute and quaint, but it was also freezing. We decided to walk over to the old Chinese mining camp, but halfway there, I stopped in my tracks in front of a chalkboard detailing what sounded to me like the perfect hot chocolate. 

I didn't say anything, but immediately turned left into the bar, where I just pointed back at the sign and said to the nice bar lady, "I want two of those, please." My mom had no idea what I had ordered, but she kind of got it as we both watched this lady start up some kind of smoker apparatus, light up some pieces of manuka wood, and waft it all into two full cups of hot chocolate. She handed over the cups, each garnished with a toasted marshmallow, and we distractedly continued on our way to the mining camp, because ohmygod. 

Sure, the camp was a cool historical site, and we marveled at the clapboard shacks and huts and sighed over the rough life these miners lived, but literally every 30 seconds one of us would exclaim over the hot chocolate, because every sip was a reminder of how good it was.

It was rich and creamy and wonderfully warming, but the smokiness was really what made it. It made me feel like I was carrying around a little drinkable campfire in my cup, as the chocolate and hot milk and smoke combined into the most delicious, warm treat on a 30 degree morning.

I took one sip and knew I was going to try to recreate it at home, I just had to wait until it was wintertime in the Northern Hemisphere. Unfortunately, I have neither a smoker nor access to manuka wood, but I do have access to the tea shops in Chinatown, where I knew I could find some lapsang souchong to use instead. The smoked tea is often used in smoked duck and other dishes where a smoky flavor comes through, so why not in my hot chocolate?

The tea infused the hot chocolate with a subtle but unmistakable smokiness, which cuts through the richness of the hot milk and two kinds of chocolate. It's not quite a campfire in your cup, but it's as close as I could get, and that was pretty darn close. 

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Smoky Hot Chocolate

Makes 4-6 servings

• 3 tbs lapsang souchong, divided
• 3 tbs dutch process cocoa powder
• 3 cups whole milk
• 4 oz bittersweet chocolate
• 3 tbs sugar
• mini marshmallows, for serving
• unsweetened whipped cream, for serving

1. Bring 3/4 cups water to a simmer in a small pot, add 1 tbs lapsang souchong, remove from heat, cover and steep for a few minutes, until fragrantly smoky. While steeping tea, bring the milk to a simmer in another small pot and add the remaining tea. Remove from heat and let steep.
2. Strain the tea from the water and the milk. Bring the water back to a simmer. Whisk in the cocoa then add the milk. Bring to a simmer, whisk in the chocolate and sugar and then whisk until creamy, about 5 minutes. 
3. Serve immediately, with whipped cream and mini marshmallows, toasted if you like.

Chocolate, Halva & Tahini Cake

I present to you a cake made just for the joy of making cakes.

There are rainbow sprinkles to celebrate!

Little gold balls for flash!

And toasted sesame seeds because some of us might be grown ups with a sweet tooth? 

And it's all tossed onto the most carefree frosting application I've attempted yet,laid on in just swoops and swirls, no OCD smoothing or piping to be found. 

And inside is a deep chocolate cake with too much tahini-laced frosting and chopped halva.

The whole thing is just FUN with an adult sensibility, chocolate and sugar mixed with nutty sesame. It's like chocolate and peanut butter everything, but more sophisticated, and bonus, no one with a nut allergy will die! Yay!

Also, I think, it makes a nice breather from the gingerbread and spiced things crowding the dessert field in December. So if you need something fun to bring to a party or want to whip up a cake to alleviate the ennui many of us seem to be experiencing in 2017, this takes just a short while in the kitchen, basic cake assembly skills, and a healthy disregard for your own sugar intake tolerance.

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Chocolate, Halva and Tahini Cake

Chocolate cake adapted from Molly Yeh

For the cake:

• 3/4 cup + 2 tbs sugar
• 3/4 cup + 2 tbs flour
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 3/4 tsp kosher salt
• 3/4 tsp baking powder
• 3/4 tsp baking soda
• 1 large egg
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 1/2 tbs vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 6 tbs boiling water

For the frosting:

• 2 large egg whites
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into tbs
• 1 oz bittersweet chocolate, melted & cooled slightly
• 2 tbs tahini paste
• 1/4 cup chopped halva
• sprinkles, for decorating
• toasted sesame seeds, for decorating

1. Make the cake: preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease and line the bottoms of two 4-inch cake pans with parchment paper.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and baking soda and set aside. In another bowl, whisk together the eggs, buttermilk, vanilla, and oil, then add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and whisk to combine, then whisk in the boiling water.
3. Divide the batter between the two cake pans and bake. Check to see if done at 20 minutes, but bake until toothpick comes out clean and cakes have begun to pull away from the sides a bit. Let layers cool in the pans for 10 minutes and then transfer and turn out onto a rack to cool completely.
4. Make the frosting: Set bowl of mixer over a pot of simmering water, and add the egg whites and sugar and whisk to combine. Continue whisking until sugar dissolves and mixture is very warm to the touch.
5. Transfer bowl to stand mixer and beat egg white mixture with the whisk attachment on high speed to stiff but not dry peaks. Continue beating until fluffy and cooled, 6 minutes.
6. Switch to the paddle attachment and beat on medium-low speed, adding the butter a bit at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in chocolate and tahini, then beat 2 minutes on low until smooth.
7. To assemble: mix halva into about 1/2 cup of the frosting and set aside. Trim the domes off the cake layers. Lay first layer on a cake board or plate and spread with the halva frosting. stack with 2nd layer and transfer to the fridge to firm up a bit, about 15 minutes. Then, frost cake with a crumb coat and then remaining frosting and decorate as desired.