Now that we've filled up on burgers, danish, and mac and cheese, we might just be ready for some of Miss Patty's punch! After all, according to Lorelai Gilmore, it's best drunk after consuming a loaf of bread, a pound of crackers, and a quart of olive oil. I think we've probably had the equivalent of that by now.
The Founders Punch of Stars Hollow was known to be used to remove tar from construction sites, the tar from scorned women's souls, and was also pretty damn tasty, apparently. Its lethal, vomit-inducing powers were described at length throughout the series, but never once any ingredients. So, we are all left to imagine just what it is Miss Patty put in it. My money is really on moonshine and cherry Kool-aid, but that combo is too close to Jungle Juice for my comfort. Since this isn't actually the blog of a college freshman, I decided to go with a more adult punch blend of fruit juice, vodka, and brandy.
This is a pretty bold mix of juices, with cranberry and pineapple, plus a bit of tropical flavor that I think Miss Patty would approve of. The last addition of sparkling apple cider seems very Stars Hollow appropriate to me, perfect for the Firelight Festival, the Harvest Festival, or any Festival dreamed up by Taylor Doosey. It's certainly a strong mix, but don't worry, it shouldn't be enough to get you dancing on any tables at the Salute to the Quakers Festival or wandering barefoot through the streets searching for a payphone.
Although, keep in mind, the recipe is supposed to serve 16, so if you decide to drink like a Gilmore as well as eat like one, you may need a taco or two in the morning.
Basically, this is a lot of juice and a little less booze. Adapted from Eat Like a Gilmore. The original recipe calls for three cups of passionfruit juice, which sounds like Miss Patty, but I'm sorry, still seemed insane to me because 1) where do I buy that? and 2) given the price of whole passionfruit, how much does that even cost? I've substituted with a juice blend containing a bit of passion fruit juice, but I think any "tropical" flavor blend would work well.
- 2 cups pineapple juice
- 1 1/2 cup cranberry juice
- 2 cups "tropical" juice blend (I used Odwalla's Citrus C Monster)
- 1 cup vodka
- 1/2 cup brandy
- 1 cup sparkling apple cider
- ice, for serving
- Combine all except apple cider in a large pitcher or bowl. Stir well to combine and chill until ready to serve.
- When ready to serve, pour over ice and top with a splash of apple cider.